If misery loves company, then I would be the best friend you ever had. For the past few weeks anxious thoughts of doom and dread have been building up in my mind. You see, my Panic Disorder mostly centers around my health issues. I am very aware of everything that happens to me health wise. In a way it can be a blessing, but mostly it can be a curse. The sleepless nights, the anxious moments can be as much of a problem as an actual physical issue.
I suppose it’s not much different than worrying about other things in life. Like obsessing about our jobs, worrying about our bills, or being concerned for our families. Hell, most of us even worry about the weather. The stresses of life can be terrible, especially on the mind and the body. But this isn’t a forum on who’s problems are worse. It’s about getting relief.
Other than the doses of the classic PD and anxiety meds I take. I rely heavily of meditation and cognitive therapy (talking to someone). These things combined with my 20 years of experience with panic give me a unique view of it. First, I don’t talk about cures. I speak mostly from the prospective of survival.
For one I get up everyday knowing my adversaries (PD, Anxiety, Depression) are looking for new ways to trip me up. Some work, some don’t. All I know is that I get up and do the best I can. It may sound a bit blasé how I deal with it, but it works for me. Also, the guilt you can carry and the self-hatred you can feel are never going to fix shit. But trying to make an effort and live, those are the things that can bring a little light back into your world.