Depending on Me

Image: Sandra Saxon Burnsed

I’m a little wore out today, I had a heated discussion with our special needs son this morning.  While some may believe you should coddle those with special needs. Our son, who is 28 years old with Asperger’s, has been treated pretty much the same as the rest of our kids. But even now he still has his moments and today wasn’t a good day for him or me.
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It’s weird to say you had ground a 28-year-old man. But sometimes you do what you have to do. But just a few years ago this was a lot easier to do. Oh I may have been called to the school nearly every day. Or had to travel all over the place for his doctors’ appointments. But this one was a little different. Maybe I over reacted or maybe I just can’t take the pressure like I could before.
 
I’ve been a caregiver for over 30 years. First to my wife and then to our son. I also worked full time and was a parent to three other children. I don’t advertise this much to the world simply because there are millions of others in the same boat. Sometimes we don’t get to choose the things which we are burdened. Children with special needs, spouses that become disabled, or parents that require our help. But we do what we have to do.
 
I suppose all I’m saying is that I’m tried. It would be nice to focus more on myself. But in the back of my mind, there is always the greater need. I’ve been flat on my back enough to know you have to make time for myself. But as a caregiver, a father, and a husband it’s hard not look outside my door and know someone is depending on me.