The realities of life are often hard to bear. I know that in my life I see the responsibilities I face as a mammoth mountain I can hardly climb anymore. Years of selfless duty have taken a toll, not only on my mind, but upon my soul. Just a few years ago I would have never written this down on paper, let alone posted it online. But I have come to a point in my life where I can freely express my emotions, at least in the hopes of relating to other kindred souls.
I don’t mean to sound like a winy ass complainer, but even when you know what you’re getting into. You are still unprepared for the realities that you must face. I’ve spent 30+ years facing the responsibility of being a caregiver and guardian to two beautiful people. They have enriched my life in so many ways, but there are still moments when fatigue and frustration overtake me.
We have to create balance in our lives. Rather at work and in our home life, things just have to even out. No matter how obligated you may feel, you can’t just give, give, give. I don’t know what it is about some of us, we feel this constant compulsion to give so much of ourselves; even to the point of ignoring our own needs. I suppose it’s a craving for the love we never received. I know that selflessness is a virtue, but when given to feed our own needs, is it still? You are worthy of your own attention. Focus your mind first on restoring your own soul. The rest will come freely. Be honest with yourself. Listen to that inner voice. The rest will work itself out.