As time follows us, existence and finality follow suit. The person looking back at you in the mirror is the same, but time and scares have left their mark. I’ve learned to accept such things. But for a while I rejected all thoughts of the end. But teetering on the edge of mortality taught me a lesson. That despite my best efforts, time waits for no one.
In 2015 after laying on a hospital bed for seven days, being monitored and pumped full of chemicals to save my life. I grew wiser. I understood that what I had done before than wasn’t enough. That the fear I carried about my own mortality, were nothing more than words pressed into my mind, by the inadequacies that I felt. So something had to change.
That was five years ago, and after a few more hospital visits, I’m still learning. Learning that I don’t know everything. I mean I’ve read all the books, went to all the seminars. Yet it wasn’t until I learned to love and to forgive me, that I learned anything I needed to know. Life’s still a struggle and I have my days. But through self-awareness I am able to focus and live one moment at a time.