Even through the hundreds of stories I’ve told. There are still moments when I ask myself why. Why do I continue this quest to share my experiences? To tell my story. To a point, those are very valid arguments. I mean I could put more focus on my own situation. Create less pressure on myself by directing my energy elsewhere. And I suppose to billions of people around the world this is very true. But I just can’t shake this feeling that my life was meant for something more.
Maybe this is just a nutty ego thing on my part. But if my writing says anything, it’s certainly not about ego. I suppose for me I do what I do for the pure joy of creating. Second, it’s become my therapy and often times my meditation. While it may seem silly to put in all the hours and afford, I put into this, with very little reward. I still love doing it.
I suppose what I should be telling myself is that the reward is more internal than external. That often is the reward we give ourselves. That our gifts should be much more than just an investment externally. But that they are gifts given spiritually as well. I long ago realized my gifts will never reap me any real financial reward, but that the gifts I have received are spiritual. That for me more than makes up for any financial loss, so I’ll keep creating.