In a swirl of dizziness and sleep deprivation, I lay here wide awake. My thoughts are in no particular place, I’m just waiting for my heart to quit pounding, so I can drift back to slumber land. I don’t ask much of myself, most days are pretty good, as long as I keep my activities to a minimum. Still there are those moments when you have to put a little effort into it. And it’s usually those days that drain me the most.
At this point I don’t ask much of life other than to give me the strength for another day. Hope you don’t mind; but I tend to be a bit melodramatic when my heart’s racing. Anyway, I try not to live in the regrets of the past, instead I focus on the day to day. But I must admit when something taxing happens it definitely drains me.
But how do you live in a paradox of remaining positive when everything around you is shutting down? I suppose the best thing I can say is don’t. In life there is a certain balance we should maintain between the darkness and the light. All you can do is try and keep things level.
Life is a constant struggle to keep things even. To accept the bad moments, while appreciating the good. Thankfully, my heart is slowing to a low roam. The panic and anxiousness that often plague me are finding their center. The things I talk about aren’t some ancient riddle, just common sense. Some things in life are unavoidable sickness, disease, or heartbreak. The best we can do is remain calm and take just one more step.