Sometimes I can’t help but feel overwhelmed no matter how simple I try to keep things. Sometimes even the smallest detail will entangle my mind and simply not let go. I suppose I could attribute this to my anxiety and OCD. But often it feels much deeper than that. It’s like all the inadequacies I still have about myself find a way of drowning whatever momentum I may have.
You ever feel that way?
I suppose like every other time that I write, I’ll eventually talk myself out of this funk. But what if I come to a point where I can’t? I often find it hard to slowdown. It’s like a fire in my belly where I gotta say, what I gotta say. It’s in those moments when I hear the doubt and fear. That disguise themselves as rational thought, leaving me asking myself again and again, why are you wasting my time?
To follow my heart or to follow my head? That’s a question I’ve been asking myself lately. All I know is, when I follow my heart, I gain more insight, and I find more peace. But there are still moments when I feel like such a failure. That no matter how confident I am in my abilities, the silence around me becomes deafening.
I mention my emotions quite a bit, that’s because my work and creativity tie directly into my emotions. Maybe you suffer the same fate. Maybe you wrestle with your dreams and your reality. At the moment I don’t know what to tell you, other than to take it one step at a time. Rest when you should and don’t push yourself to oblivion. It seems as creators we are all have our moments of doubt, so let’s continue on our journeys and see it through.