Creativity is such a fickle lover, moving in and out of our lives on a whim. While I didn’t consider myself much of an artist, I still see inspiration move in and out of my life. Either giving me moments of creativity or drought. I prefer to write in the short story format, first because I don’t have much of an attention span. And secondly, because it allows me to throw bursts of spontaneity into my work. I guess you could say I’m a, “throw it against the wall to see if it sticks”, kinda guy.
But seriously that is nothing new, most artist of today find solace in the idea of spontaneity. Creating from what the moment brings. It’s funny for me to say these things, because I was such a planning. On a number of projects I worked on, I’d usually end taking the lead as project manager. A job I accepted timidly, but soon learned to relish.
But since my health scare and its aftereffects, I’ve taken a long hard look at my life. What I concluded was that some wholesale changes had to be made. While I thrived on many aspects of project planning, at the same time it was killing me. Maybe I should be more specific in saying is that my lifestyle and mental health habits were killing me. What I required was a complete turn around in my thinking and my physical habits. While a lot of damage was done, it was up to me to turn things around.
The eventual solution came by returning to my first love writing. While therapy and medication helped, it was my discovery of mindfulness and meditation that put me on my road back to finding myself. The idea of living in the moment brought a certain degree of peacefulness. It let me know that living in the here and now is where I truly needed to be. Worrying so much about the next moment brought on such anxiety and stress that it nearly killed me.
In the world in which I currently live, I maybe a lot poorer, but my mind is clearer and more focused than ever. I have written thousands of short stories and hundreds poems. I’ve become more in tune with nature and the world around me. I have more patience and compassion for others. In general am thriving in a world led by spontaneity. It allows to explore places in my mind I once feared to tread, adding to the peacefulness I feel. You may not feel like you are an artist, but we all live in a world of performance and net value. But how much easier would it be to place more value on your true self and on those that surround you.