Pulling myself out of a dream, I lay on the bed, my throat dry, my heart pounding, and my insides bond. Just another 1:30 wake up call for the panic stricken. It’s like a vicious circle you can’t pull out. For days’ things don’t seem to bother me. Then there are those days like now that more than make up for the absence. These four walls are a prison as well as and a refuge. Building my frustration while keeping the peace. With only the gentle snores of my bribe holding the balance.
I’ve talked about this so much; I’m nearly talked out. But the line bears repeating, that you are worth the fight. I am often weary of quiet moments, for those are the times when my mind wonders into some dark places. But I’ve learned that if I center myself and listen without judging, I can hear the cries. For a soul deserves the forgiveness and love it so desperately craves.
Without eating away at the little time you have, remember. Feelings of fear and worry are just natural. They come from our very core of existence. But to ignore those feelings eventually leads to pain and anxiety. So stop and really listen to what your mind and body are saying. Without balance happiness and fear cannot live together. We need both in order to survive. Mindfulness is the practice I choose to keep fear in check. And while it may seem my balance isn’t there, one-time fixes never work anyway. Balance is maintained through practice.