Wish to be someone I wasn’t, like an actor on a stage. But eventually when the lights dim, all I’m left with is the man I had always been. Without respect of family or kin, I was left to wonder a path of troublesome introspection changing values, like changing socks. It feels a bit redundant even mentioning this, but most everyone wishes they were someone else as well. But it’s also worth repeating that when chasing fantasies of a better life; change never comes without putting in the work.
As a recap I seriously started reinventing myself some 14 or 15 years ago. I pursued a higher education, which I achieved in 2015. But it wasn’t an easy journey there were many stops and starts along the way. Then there is my ongoing mental health issues, which I still live with, but I can handle far better with experience and mindfulness. Now over the last 6 years, I’ve battled back from near death with my physical health. Which despite the limitations it has placed on me. I sit here more at peace and comfortable with myself than ever.
Life’s journey leads us to lots of disappointments. But in those moments that we often learn the most. I may never achieve my childhood dream of being a rock star or even a decent musician. But I’ve learned to appreciate the little things like the cool chill of a January afternoon. The relaxing companionship of a rescue animal. To breathe in the air and hear the constant complaining of a couple of squirrels. Dreams are tempered by reality, but in moments of awareness, you will find your heart’s desire.