Microsoft Designer
With a head full of anger and fear, it isn’t enough that the 24/7 news cycle bleeds through my phone every chance it gets. Or that the responsibilities of maintaining a household isn’t enough to tip you over. Out of the blue attacks on my peace of mind circle around and around in my head like so much dirty laundry on the wash cycle. Isolating myself obviously doesn’t work and neither does confessing my sins to a crowd of random people with sins of their own.
Worrying about things which I shouldn’t have to control. Watching loved ones spiral down paths I witnessed myself go through. Angry and scared at the same time at people I vowed to love and cherish. Putting it all on display on a $16 a month freak show of my own making. Knowing good and damn well, that isolation isn’t the answer. So what do I do? Confess your sins to the ethos hoping for some sort of redemption?
As much of a freak show as my mind is at times. My creative outlet of pen to paper is often my best source of solace. Sometimes mindfulness and meditation aren’t enough. My panic often finds ways to out maneuver all my protocols, leaving me with those same primal fears I first felt so long ago. Panic and fear are sneaky little bastards when it comes to getting in my head. They seem to know the in and outs of my psyche even better than I do.
So what do I do? Give in to the impulses and suffer? Again releasing my pain into the ethos seems to be the best route I have found. By giving my pain, fear, and anger a voice by listening to it. Not by judging, but instead by embracing those parts of yourself and forgiving myself and doing better. There is so much more to this than just 400 words can explain. Just know that freedom comes by giving away compassion and forgiveness. Especially of oneself and also to others in your life.
Worrying about things which I shouldn’t have to control. Watching loved ones spiral down paths I witnessed myself go through. Angry and scared at the same time at people I vowed to love and cherish. Putting it all on display on a $16 a month freak show of my own making. Knowing good and damn well, that isolation isn’t the answer. So what do I do? Confess your sins to the ethos hoping for some sort of redemption?
As much of a freak show as my mind is at times. My creative outlet of pen to paper is often my best source of solace. Sometimes mindfulness and meditation aren’t enough. My panic often finds ways to out maneuver all my protocols, leaving me with those same primal fears I first felt so long ago. Panic and fear are sneaky little bastards when it comes to getting in my head. They seem to know the in and outs of my psyche even better than I do.
So what do I do? Give in to the impulses and suffer? Again releasing my pain into the ethos seems to be the best route I have found. By giving my pain, fear, and anger a voice by listening to it. Not by judging, but instead by embracing those parts of yourself and forgiving myself and doing better. There is so much more to this than just 400 words can explain. Just know that freedom comes by giving away compassion and forgiveness. Especially of oneself and also to others in your life.
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