All in this Together

Since Wednesday I haven’t used any of my normal releases for my discomfort. Other than the drugs I was given at the hospital, some pre-op meditation practice, and a boat load of Tylenol. Since then I’ve kept pretty much to myself telling anyone that has asked, that I’m doing fine and that I’m just sore. But what I have been feeling in my head are the effects of a lack of sleep, getting screwed over by SSA and SSI, and my car breaking down.

With each opportunity I’ve had to write about this, I’ve decided to “plead the fifth”. Keeping my frustrations to myself and allowing them to stew over in my mind through a long series of restless dreams I’ve been having lately. The days aren’t too bad, I occupy my mind with mindless videos and catching up on TV shows I’ve promised myself to watch. But when the sun goes down that’s when the truth hits me, and I find myself isolated and alone.

I suppose there should be some moral compass to all this, like the importance of mindful practice and sharing. But at the moment I just ain’t feeling it. So if there’s any moral to this story it’s that I understand how you’re feeling. When you just ain’t feeling it and you’re just silently wishing it would all just go away. But until that happens I’ll get myself a glass of lemon tea and let the heating pad and ice pack do their thing. If you’re feeling the same way, it’s okay to let me know. Remember that we are all in this together.