An Illusion

Now that my blue period is almost over, I can now be the witty, cynical fellow you all know and love. But just beneath the surface of wit and charm lies a troubled soul that still fights demons most every day. But that should not be surprising to any of you, because most of you feel the same way. The facades we all wear cover a many a defect we carry. For example, I don’t smile because I have a lot of damaged and broken teeth. I dislike face to face interaction because of my hearing loss. And I have a total distain for my very lose skin due to obesity.

I mean I am a pathetic sight, at least in my eyes. And if we are being honest, those are the eyes that matter the most. But at the core of it, do any of us really believe our own made-up story? Or do we spend our every waking moment trying to hide? I’m not going to sit here and tell you to embrace your every flaw. Mainly because I think your smarter than that. But what I am going to tell you is that you can work though those “flaws” if you want too. Some of my flaws are apparently due to genetics, so I work on my diet for many of my health issues. And as far as my character flaws, I work on them mindfully with some success.

Still there are moments when I see myself as such a fake. That the careful façade just isn’t enough to sustain me. Those are the moments where I walk within myself and listen. At times it can be a slippery slope and often I must tread lightly. But I have had years of practice doing this. So with the use of my art as a release, so far I’m been able to see the other side. I guess what I am saying here is find balance. Don’t let your mask or your vulnerabilities rule you. Work on what you can and be honest with yourself. And seek help where you need it. Because perfection is an illusion no matter where you find it.