Angels

Wednesday always seems to be one of those days. I’ve either got a doctor’s appointment, or I’ve got to go grocery shopping, or out somewhere paying a bill. Outside my office window it’s a bright, sunny day. What I wouldn’t give to just sit outside in the shade. But life being what it is, you seldom get what you want, living on the table scraps it decides to throw at you. I don’t mean to sound like such a pessimist. But if the world has taught anything it’s to plan for the best and expect the worse. But one of my angels did come down today and dropped me a note. It was a simple thumbs up emoji text. And while it may not mean nothing to you, between me and my angel it was all that I needed.

The history between us is far too complicated to write in one story. Our naughty little secret has been going on for decades, yet nothing has ever gone on. We are always there for each other through thick or thin. Between the pain of physical illnesses, marital strife, or just the need to feel appreciated. We’re always there for each other.  Some would say it sounds like the formula for a good marriage. But common sense told us long ago we’d a killed each other by now. Content in the worlds that we’ve built we are pioneers that have blazed trails out of nothing. Always sacrificing ourselves for the greater good.
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So here I sit, a 125 miles from where I really want to be. But I’m not sad and even disappointed about it anymore. For deep down in my soul after all the shit I’ve seen, I still got an angel. Oh, people may think they love you, but eventually you are often just the means to an end. But what is love in it’s purest form? I think I’ve seen it a few times. In the fear of holding your first child and the confidence you gain thereafter. The first glimpse of a grandchild formed in part from your own flesh and bones. Still I question whether I’ve seen love anymore than just beyond that. What I’m saying may be unfair or even selfish. But there’s something inhumane in giving too much. That’s why I need an angel to bathe me in the purest form of love.