Beyond the Bottom Line

FD Thornton

Last night was a great night for TV watching but a bad night for sleeping. I watched two episodes of my  guilty pleasures. So I didn’t go to sleep till after midnight but still I was awakened several times by coughing. Even with a smooth cup of coffee I still find myself having fits of hacking. Because of my allergies to grass pollen I haven’t gone to the park for the last few days. But even with central heating and air in the apartment and a new filter, I still find myself hacking away.  

I had to go over to the local DMV office to change the address on my license and my wife and son’s ID cards. Even though you’re supposed to be able to do that online, it’s actually faster going to the DMV or DDS, as they call it here in Georgia. Then in the mail, I got some more paperwork from SSA dealing with my son, which confused the hell out if me. But to get a live person on the phone in now an impossibility (Thanks, President Musk). So to say it has been a challenging morning would be a vast understatement.

But such is the life of a caregiver with disabilities of their own. I’d love to write some flowery words to describe my so-called “Moocher Existence”. But as with anyone with their hands tied behind their backs and then told, “You can do it, if you work hard enough”. So I often ask, “How?” Despite all the false bravado we’ve been fed all our lives, the bottom line is just that…the bottom line.

Still I look at the world with the eyes of empathy. Having gratitude for what I have, while pitying the fools who think they don’t have enough. Life is more than just X’s and O’s, ones and zeros, or the bottom of a spread sheet. It’s about life and pursuing a purpose other than protecting yourself. We’ve suppose to have grow beyond the bases of our brain by protecting others than just ourselves. So as the last few drops of my candle melt away, I see the sun violently burn through the windows, as the words I have written burn through my anger.