Despite How My Gut Feels

After two days of high humidity, drizzle, and shitty temperatures; we finally got a little sunshine, wind, and pleasant temperatures. The leaves are tussling about the yard like children on a playground. Blowing ever which way with no particular direction in mind. I’ve felt pretty crappy the past few days since Thanksgiving. But the cloudless blue sky has turned my frown upside down despite how my gut feels.

Circumstance can be a huge motivator in ones life. Maybe you grew up poor and you’ve dedicated your life to accumulating wealth. Maybe you’re just the opposite and don’t see any way out of the poverty experienced by your family. Circumstance definitely played a role in my development. Leaving me fearful and silent to fight back at the shortcomings my existence left me. Circumstance is certainly a valid excuse when one is needed. Doing my best not to sound like a, “Hang in there, Baby” kitten poster from the break room. The incidents that formed your life are real and can be crippling.
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I guess what I’m trying to say is, don’t let your circumstances dictate your outcome. Hey, I got a shit load of strikes stacked against me. I struggle with mental illnesses such as depression and anxiety. I fight low self-esteem from decades of bullying . I ended up being abusive and treating others with indifference myself. Physically as I was coming to terms with my mental situation. My physical health came crushing through the floor. Leaving me to this day struggling just to do everyday task. But despite it all, most of the time, I try. And that is all you can ask of yourself. Moments of pain and fear, they come and they go. But finding peace with yourself and your circumstance, will open doorways you never saw before.