Do It

Maybe I shouldn’t really talk about this but yesterday was an exhausting day. Driving between Hazlehurst to the DMV all the way to Eastman to stop at the pharmacy and run other errands. Other than the bad dreams I had last night, I was totally spent. None of these trips would have been overly taxing a number of years ago, but with the stress and lack of sleep lately. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t tired. Well this morning I woke up with a shout that my wife’s TV station is no longer being carried over our internet TV provider.
 
Needless to say, I was the one that had to fix it. I mean all the Disney owned networks were gone! Which means My bride can no longer see her Michael Strahan in the morning or heaven forbid Dancing with the Star’s. So before I could even take my morning medication I had to fix this! So here I was price comparing Internet TV Providers at 7:30 this morning all before Strahan left the airways. I think just the fact that she got me riled up in the morning to solve yet another “her” problems made her happy. But honestly she’s not the only one, our special needs son does the same thing.
 
I guess my main reason to mention such personal business is to just get the weight off my chest. But it’s also to extend a line of understanding to all the individuals out there tending to special needs kids and elderly parents on the edge. Just like me at one time, here you are working for a living, while spending your remaining waking hours keeping one eye open. It’s a hell of a way to live, so I just want to tell you that I understand.
 
And all the while you’re sacrificing your time and money, you get all the platitudes of, “You’re so strong, I don’t know how you do it”. Or, “You hang in there, everything’s going to be all right”. Those are the moments when I just want to say, “The hell with you”! I know it sounds cruel but when your heart is beating out of your chest and there’s no one there to help you. What can you do? But put on your Big Girl Panties and do it.