Fails to Realize

It’s a far cry from the pleasant gnat filled afternoon of yesterday. With morning temperatures in the mid-40’s we seem to have had a nor'easter blow in last night. It’s cold enough that I had to break out the southern version of a winter parka (a cloth windbreaker) and sit out in the sun. My wife likes to say, with a certain amount of disdain, “Looks like you got what you wished for….happy?” What she fails to realize is when I said that I was 130 lbs. heavier.

Many of us think in terms of the past. And it’s true that past actions usually determine one’s future results. But people can change…if they want to. I smoked a pipe like a chimney in winter and I eat my feelings for way too many years. But I learned from those mistakes. So while I’m still paying the price for those past mistakes, I’m trying to do better. But damn this wind is slicing right through me.

I could having easily kept right on smoking and continued to eat my feelings. But I know better than that. I’m not saying that I’m in anyway superior. Maybe it’s because I am weaker. I mean it was the fear of dying that kept my ass alive and vigil for the last several years. Unlike my parents that for whatever their reasons didn’t say on top of their health issues. I do my damnest to stay vigilant and aware. I mean I still have goals I want to meet and dreams I’ve yet to realize.