Faint or Great

Image By: Sandra Saxon Burnsed

The is an eerie fog covering the pecan grove behind the apartments this morning. My belly has felt tight since last night, but after opening the windows to the office it don’t feel as stuffy. I must also admit it is very quiet for a Friday morning. But after decades of living in South Central Georgia, nothing surprises me anymore. I took a shower and shaved my face looking all prim and proper for someone not going anywhere. But such as it is for the lifestyle I have chosen, living my days protecting my sanity and my health.

For I know all too well that the stresses of my former life would have easily put me under pushing up daisies much like it did my parents. But I don’t know, maybe I just have something more to live for or maybe mom and dad were right, and I should hurry things along to see my maker. I know that sounds like a diss and maybe it is. But considering the silence and the mood how else should I feel? But hey! Lets not weigh too deep into that garden of muck and focus on the here and now. Even though the here and now might not seem like much.

I guess what I am trying to say is, don’t give up. Put away those preconceived notions that things will be better if you let them lie. So much of my parents doctrine revolved around “Jesus take the wheel”. But I don’t know about that, from the way I read it, it sounds more like “ tighten up your belt and deal with it”. (Job 40:7, 1 Peter 1:13, Acts 12:8, Ephesians 6:14) So if you want to win, if you want to find peace. Wallowing in your sorrows ain’t going to cut it because, “faith without works is dead” (James 2:26). Don’t ask me what brought on all this preachiness other than my own resignation to sometimes give up. So maybe I’m talking to myself more than anyone else. That life is to be lived, no matter how faint or great.