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Feel it in My Bones

1/23/2020

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At least my toes are warm, that’s what I keep telling myself. And yes, I realize I’m Southern so anything below 40° is cold. We heat the house with electric heaters, which means when one heater dies Dad does without. But I do have five blankets on the bed and a heating pad under my feet, so I’m fairly comfortable so I’m more than used to it. I used to tolerate cold fairly well, but after dropping over 100 lbs. I’m beginning to feel it in my bones.
 
As a parent, husband, and caregiver you learn to compromise. Sometimes silly little things like letting your son have the last banana or your serving of dessert. Sometimes you do without eating to feed the kids. You put off buying something new to pay for band camp. Give up sleep to watch over a sick wife or kid. Make sure appointments are kept. Be an advocate for those with special needs in our house. You know little silly things.
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None of us that have to do these things do it for the glory. We do because it has to be done. When I was first in the hospital, it was hard for me to accept help. I mean I did literally everything myself. To find oneself helpless was not an easy pill to swallow. To give up control is still a real problem for me. The point I’m trying to make here is, don’t let your unwillingness to let go cloud your faith. If it wasn’t for me letting go of my hurt, I wouldn’t be here today. Sometimes it’s necessary for us to be in charge. But sometimes it takes a little faith to see our dreams come true. Trust what you’re doing, learn to let go, feel it in your bones. 
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