From Doom-Scrolling to Discovery

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I woke up this morning not really feeling very motivated. So I lay in the bed and doomed scrolled for a couple of hours. Then I scratched my head, rolled my eyes, and begrudgingly got out of bed. I then combed my hair, got dressed, pulled open the curtains, and made-up the bed. Within the safety of my office I took my medicine while reading the mornings headlines. I started wondering, am I really making any better use of my time then I was in bed?

But don’t worry, I just laughed at myself and moved on. As you can see I’m now doing something reasonably productive. But it’s the thought I had earlier that I really wanted to discuss. As a retired disabled person a lot of people may feel that my life is nothing more than one long vacation. And while it does leave me with more me time. Most of my “me time” is spent shuttling my wife, my son, and myself to and from doctor visits, grocery shopping, and bill paying. All while making sure medicine is being taken and the apartment is being cleaned.

But this discussion isn’t really about the everyday necessities of life. It’s about the motivation to pursue things I find more exciting, like writing and photography. Still for me living in a bubble of quiet routine is a refuge. I mean after teetering on the edge of death and eventual worsening disability. It’s nice to just be able to watch the birds foraging outside. I dreamed last night of losing the ability to control my body, thus depending even more on others for help. Needless to say it was a frightening prospect. But it was a motivating thought that got me moving this morning. I guess the thing is, find motivation where you can. But don’t allow fear to be the overwhelming factor in starting your day. Find your joy