Have Mercy!

Working on my third ice pack of the day, with my sinuses are screaming, “Have Mercy!”, out of my head. Doing my best to have a normal day, I’ve reduced my typing to this keypad on my phone, just so I can be able to lay down and work in the dark. All the while, my autistic son comes running in and out of  the room, screaming conference tournament updates.
 
I wish I should be excited or at least pretend to be excited. But with my congestion, I find it hard to give him the excitement he wants. Considering my sinus and bronchial walls are swollen from these allergies. But I push through just as I have the opening of every Spring allergy season. Till finally the grass and the trees stop blooming and I wait till it starts again in the  fall. Other than ruining my peak performance as a caregiver, this time of the year to me brings out the “boo birds” whenever I complain openly about how I feel. It seems that the only time I’m cut any slack is when I’m in a hospital or under some doctor’s orders.
 
So I keep my feelings mostly to myself except to this of you that have read this far. Forgive my cynicism, but after all this is my go to primal operating mode. Given to me from decades of being to either “Suck it up!” or “You have our thoughts and prayers”. So you know good and damn well, where those two sentiments are going to end. So take from this what you will, if anything. For life is never fair, unless you pry the fairness from its cold dead hands. For the powers to be for millennia have been telling us, “If you work hard and good things will come”. But just when you’ve finally reached the goal post. Some asshole just pushes it farther down the road.
 
#AllergySeason #Cynicism #PhonySentiment #Caregiving #TryingYourBest