After a few rough days, I’m outside again. With my back to the sun, I can hear the migrating birds chattering away while the laundry dries on the line. As you may or may not know, it’s been a challenging week for me both physically and mentally. But given time and allowing myself to absorb the information. I can now say I’m ready for the next challenge. I don’t think I go through anymore shit than anyone else. I do think that maybe the difference is I’m a little more open and honest about it.
For decades I searched for a way to make myself stand out, you know to be noticed. But most of my attempts were mediocre at best. And for someone with an extremely low level of self-esteem anyway, you can see where it didn’t take much to bring me down. It wasn’t until I began to break down physically that I started to let go of the drama of my own life that weighed me down. Now does that mean I’ve stumbled across some secret cure for mental abuse I suffered. Respectfully, no. But what I have learned is not to just cling to the good parts of myself. But to embrace and love the hurting and painful parts of myself as well. You see, God, Mother Nature, or whomever part me together, put me together “warts and all”. And you know what, that’s okay. To reject the weaker sides of yourself would be like cutting off a limb for no good reason. It’s simply not supposed to happen. Embrace who you are. Embrace the flaws, the weaknesses and learn from them. And who knows, you may learn a little something more about yourself. All I’m saying is, be who you are. Be honest with yourself. Don’t let the gauge of society rob you of your uniqueness and gifts.
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May 2023
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