Inner Noise

I had the strangest dream last night. I dreamt that I worked for a major TV network and were filming a debate between conservative and liberal voters. The only thing I could gather from the messy disturbing dream is not to listen to political podcast while going to sleep. There are times when I think I should adopt of oldest daughter’s philosophy of just ignoring the news. The stress it brings is often nothing more than an added burden to the stress and anxiety I live with already.

But as with most of us that suffer from a myriad of mental health issues, including OCD. We can’t help but help but obsess about the things we see around us. But as I use my cognitive and mindfulness training I’m usually pretty good at tapping down the seeds of anxiety. My most prolific use of mindfulness training is through my use of journaling. If you have read any of my stories you’ve probably figured out they’re nothing more than confessionals for my faults and weaknesses. While the vast majority of social media is nothing more hyped up promotion. I find the platform is best suited for exposing the weaknesses that we all feel.

That in a way by exposing my faults and weaknesses I’m helping others find a way to escape by showing they are not alone. Sadly in the real world I still wear the armor of a tough arrogant SOB. But like I said, my written words offer me a slower pace in which to expose the cracks in the armor. So while a tough exterior may be the calling card for this strongman world that we all now live. Confession, exposure, and letting go are for me the best way of releasing all the pain and guilt I carried for so many years. So don’t let your insides eat you out from within. Face the bitter truth of an imperfect life and seek solace in the simplicity of the breath.