TRUTH-LIES...with FD Thornton
  • Welcome
  • Stories
  • The Poetry Archive
  • Never Gone
  • Books
  • Lisa's Art
  • Random Images
  • Contact Us
  • New Page

Live Again

7/18/2021

0 Comments

 
Picture
I was awakened this morning from a deep sleep. I was dreaming of the ocean, smelling the salty air, walking hand in hand with someone I love. But the abrupt and persistent pain in my lower gut awakened me, reminding me that those days have passed. That the reality my situation limits my movements and any dream of silent walks and being able to be alone are long gone. I’m trying to not be bitter about the situation. Telling myself, “That it is what it is”. But the words only echo through my mind reminding me that my mind, body, and soul that are trapped in this circumstance.

I tell myself to be patient. But patience becomes a convenient term my for time spent in hell. I’m mad. Not only at my circumstance, but also at myself. It is said that ignorance is no excuse for the law. And yet, I continued to kill myself with a thousand tiny cuts. Knowing damn well I’d have to eventually pay the toll, much like my parents did. It’s bitterness and anger that fuel this tale. It’s honesty and a sense of failure that fan the flames. I will never cure myself with just the few words typed on this screen. It took me years to get here, and it will take me years more to get out.
​
Life, happiness, sadness, anger, and fear all roll like an ocean tide. And right now, the tides pretty damn low. Not so much because I’m thinking of my own suffering. But because I’m watching someone I love suffer as well. Letting go of perceived responsibilities is never easy. But the grace I grant those I love; is the very thing I have to grant myself. Frustration and limitations are all just a part of growing old. Acceptance and understanding are things you and I must embrace, in order to recover and live again. 
0 Comments



Leave a Reply.

    All post written by
    FD Thornton, Jr  
    Copyrighted.
    ​All Rights Reserved.

    Archives

    March 2025
    February 2025
    January 2025
    December 2024
    November 2024
    October 2024
    September 2024
    August 2024
    July 2024
    June 2024
    May 2024
    April 2024
    March 2024
    February 2024
    January 2024
    December 2023
    November 2023
    October 2023
    September 2023
    August 2023
    July 2023
    June 2023
    May 2023
    April 2023
    March 2023
    February 2023
    January 2023
    December 2022
    November 2022
    October 2022
    September 2022
    August 2022
    July 2022
    June 2022
    May 2022
    April 2022
    March 2022
    February 2022
    January 2022
    December 2021
    November 2021
    October 2021
    September 2021
    August 2021
    July 2021
    June 2021
    May 2021
    April 2021
    March 2021
    February 2021
    January 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    September 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019

    RSS Feed

Proudly powered by Weebly
Photos from Alan Light, matsuyuki