Look for the Signs

Planting by the Signs

Do you remember the old joke about what if the dog ever catches the car, what would he do with it? Well lately that’s how I’ve been feeling. Like something I’ve been chasing for so long is right in my grasp. And I’m like, now what do I do with it? I don’t like this feeling, the feeling of unpredictably. Though I’ve been preaching about letting go and finding your own path. I’m feeling something’s wrong, like I’m taking three steps back instead of two steps forward.
 
I look back at the memories that are flooding my head. Of simpler times and a more fluid set of support. Yet things have changed, the past becomes deified. And the only solid thing I truly feel, is the shaky ground which I now stand. I left my life back home sure it was the right call. The struggles I’ve endured during this time were all my own. But it’s through those struggles that I’ve became who I am and my family as well. So to uproot that foundation may seem nostalgic, but is it really the right call?
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I suppose this shouldn’t be the forum to unburden myself of such things. That instead I should be gathering truth and sharing it with you. Well my truth is that I’m uncomfortable, a little scared, and very troubled. Scared I’ll make the wrong decisions and troubled by the fact I’m not alone. I suppose all I can do is breathe, listen to my troubles, love myself compassionately, and show myself some patience. Nature is not chaotic until outside forces intervene. So listen to your feelings and look for the signs.