Away We Go!

With the sun coming up and the candle lit, the medicine has just been taken. With the sweet taste of gummy vitamins swirling in my mouth, my flow is interrupted because I can’t spell swirl, imagine that. Anyway today is bill day and I got about three dozen of the things to kill for the month. So away we go. Well I don’t know whether to be stressed or relieved that most of the bills are now paid. But with less than a hundred dollars left in the bank, I think I’ll just settle for grateful.  
 
But enough about money troubles, cause we all got them. How are you doing? Getting enough sleep? The youngins doing alright? As for me I can’t really complain, there ain’t no point. It ain’t gonna change anything no way. Right about now the meds are kicking in and now that the uncomfortable job of paying bills is over. So all I’m left with are my dreams and desires to be a happier person. Do you ever feel that way? That all you want to do is be happy.
 
What is happy to you? Is it watching the grandbabies growing into little boys and girls? Or is it complaining about how your own children raise their own children. Lord knows, nothing in my world is perfect. I mean often my own kids have to bail me out of difficult situations all the time. And while I get the eyeroll and the “stop being so mean” attitude at times. At least we all show up for each other, and that’s what’s important, showing up.
 
I may not have been able to raise my kids with everything, but hopefully they know I was there. For all of our flaws it’s the showing up that counts. If there’s any lesson I want my youngins to take away, it is to show up and be there. For far too long I wasn’t there emotionally for them due to my own mental health problems. Even now the distance is real and often disheartening. But even so, I hope they feel that I was still there, as imperfect as I am.   
 
#Gratitude #Honesty #Presence #BeingThere #Zen