Most Important

On this usual morning I sit here drowning myself in medication, while staring out the window and repeating the same old stories. Apparently satisfied with my own company I raddle on about disease, mortality, and life. Maybe there is not much else left to my existence, but at the moment it is all I got. I mean I spent my better years raising a family, taking care of a disabled spouse, all the while dealing with my own health issues. People say I am a strong man, but to be honest I don’t feel that way. For deep inside I see every flaw and relive every regret. 

Sorry about the lack of sunshine or humor, but days like this come upon you; especially after a brutal day of regrettable decisions made out of desperation. So I pause for a moment and put these feelings on the screen just to get them out of my system. For if nothing else after 25+ years of dealing with mental health, I’ve learned. Don’t sweep anything under the rug, because eventually you will trip over the lump. Being the advanced front lobe thinkers that we are. Regret is a bitter pill we must all deal with. But there are answers to the burdens we bare. 

First off there is prayer and forgiveness, “as far as the east is from the west…” (Psalms 103:12 NIV). Then for some of us there is compassionate listening and forgiveness. Do you notice a pattern here? While the earth spins around giving us another day it is important to remember that life moves on. Responsibilities and duties of the past often grow into the silence of today. Be aware that today is not yesterday or the day before. Live your life as best you can, without constantly staring into the rearview mirror. For its what is ahead that is most important.