Much like yesterday today’s starting out a bit foggy. But since I didn’t take a nap yesterday, I woke up rested unlike my usual morning. Since we’ve been packing up stuff for our eventual move. The cats have been having a field day catching the field mice hidden in the nooks and crannies around the house. I got the car back from the shop yesterday afternoon. I was surprised by the reasonable amount my daughter was charged for the repair (might as well be honest). So now I’m waiting for the fog to clear so I can get our next few days’ supply of groceries (our fridge was damages during the hurricane).
If your looking for some great pearls of wisdom, I usually have to go outside for that, cause there’s nothing less exciting than being cramped up in a room packed full of boxes with no clear date as to when we can move. But that doesn’t mean I’m not feeling a lot more optimistic (yes, Jamm I said it). It seems that I am having to work on my patience. As I’ve said before, I’m a planner, I like things laid out in an orderly fashion. But unfortunately most of my life has been overtaken by last minute impulse, where most of my decisions turned out bad. So I’m trying to treat this whole affair as a life lesson. But as with most “life lessons” the message isn’t sitting particularly well with me. When dealing with childhood trauma the ghosts of that past are hard to shake. You have to develop a thick skin, and those calluses take decades to wear down.
So you develop resilience to roll over those pains. I suppose I should be grateful for the early medication they gave me so I could function in my early years of panic and anxiety. While it wiped away any trace of true emotion, it did give me the opportunity to function and explore other avenues of treatment and healing. It’s been about a decade since going cold turkey off that particular drug (a method I do not recommend). But since starting my current treatment and practicing mindfulness, which includes my very public confessions (which you are reading). I have been able to manage my mental illness. It seems the act of confession has given me a real opportunity to release that pain. Now I am not saying everyone go out in public and confess your “sins”. What I am saying is to find yourself a trusted friend or maybe group therapy to work out these buried emotions. Being around like-minded people can be the healing process you need to find your true self.
If your looking for some great pearls of wisdom, I usually have to go outside for that, cause there’s nothing less exciting than being cramped up in a room packed full of boxes with no clear date as to when we can move. But that doesn’t mean I’m not feeling a lot more optimistic (yes, Jamm I said it). It seems that I am having to work on my patience. As I’ve said before, I’m a planner, I like things laid out in an orderly fashion. But unfortunately most of my life has been overtaken by last minute impulse, where most of my decisions turned out bad. So I’m trying to treat this whole affair as a life lesson. But as with most “life lessons” the message isn’t sitting particularly well with me. When dealing with childhood trauma the ghosts of that past are hard to shake. You have to develop a thick skin, and those calluses take decades to wear down.
So you develop resilience to roll over those pains. I suppose I should be grateful for the early medication they gave me so I could function in my early years of panic and anxiety. While it wiped away any trace of true emotion, it did give me the opportunity to function and explore other avenues of treatment and healing. It’s been about a decade since going cold turkey off that particular drug (a method I do not recommend). But since starting my current treatment and practicing mindfulness, which includes my very public confessions (which you are reading). I have been able to manage my mental illness. It seems the act of confession has given me a real opportunity to release that pain. Now I am not saying everyone go out in public and confess your “sins”. What I am saying is to find yourself a trusted friend or maybe group therapy to work out these buried emotions. Being around like-minded people can be the healing process you need to find your true self.
RSS Feed