This has been a week full. To start off, I had two doctor appointments in two different cities. Thinking I’d made my doctor quota. I ended up having go back to the hospital for four more hours of testing. Needless to say, my head’s kinda spinning. But I got home before lunch, then I went and checked on George. But now I’m back home again sitting in the shade.
You’re probably thinking, I spend my life riding the roads between doctor appointments and in a way that’s sorta true. But when you’re the caretaker for two disabled adults, the highway becomes your home. Add to that all the shit I put up with, and yeah, I ride the roads between doctor visits. I guess I could just sit around and feel sorry for myself. Or I could stay mad at the world for giving me such a shitty life. Not saying that I haven’t done neither one of those things. But somewhere buried in my psyche as the will to just move on. Call it fear, call it motivation, but it’s there. Do I say all this to motivate you, maybe? Do I fill these pages with my sad life story for the attention, hardly? All I know is laying under an imaging machine for two hours can teach you some things. Things like life is more than just waiting to die. That each of us has a purpose and it’s up to us to find it. That wrong turns and stupid mistakes don’t have to be the end. With me, what you see is what you get. I can’t put it any plainer than that. If you find yourself stuck, in the dark, or afraid. Know that taking a moment and really looking at yourself, often provides you with the best answer.
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May 2023
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