Smoke & Mirrors
Let’s get real, vulnerability is not anyone’s strong suit. In a world that believes in winning at all cost, I am considered a failure. My credit report says so, my bank account says so, hell even my family tells me so. Many would say, it’s best if I just kept my mouth shut. I mean, what do I know, right? But success is often just smoke and mirrors for a life lived in a lie. On the outside we are so put together, but on the inside, we die a thousand times over.
I’ve had enough of trying to live up to other’s expectations. Do I have talents? Yes. But it’s up to me how those talents are used. I thought I wanted money, fame, and comfort. But even when I had that, all I wanted was more. And for what? To have more shit to stuff in my closet? I can publish books from my laptop and an internet connection. I can make art from a $199 smartphone and a free app. Plus I can create and publish my blog from a $6 a month app and a free website.
My life is what it is and it is real. I struggle every month to keep the wolfs at bay. I’m responsible for the welfare of two other lives, while struggling to take care of my own. Honestly if someone had told my 25-year-old self this is what’s going to happen, I might have ran. To deny yourself the ability to be vulnerable, is to deny of yourself an ally. Another weapon in your arsenal to fight back the enemies of pride and self-delusion. Don’t let those things take you down a dangerous path. Be aware, know your abilities, and live your life.
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FD Thornton, Jr
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