Woke up with a shout this morning, having to go to the bathroom. So I ended up getting up much earlier than I had intended. So I went ahead and took my meds, made up the bed, and called my father-in-law just as I do every Sunday. The art of conversation isn’t lost on me and despite my relative isolation I still enjoy a good chatting with friends and family. Fortunately for me, my father-in-law is old school, so our conversations can range from the heated to the sentimental about anything from politics to our grandkids.
After our goodbyes I promptly left my desk and laid back down. Through the window I could see how pretty it was outside. But considering the time of the year, I know going outside would only get toted away by the gnats and the humidity. So I decided to hide in my room. Now as far as carrying on a conversation with my adult children or any younger person for that matter. Conversations usually take a back seat to a quick text or reminders on a calendar. Now I’ll admit I’m not a very outwardly affectionate and my family will be the first to tell you. In exchange they’re not always super affectionate when it comes me. That is a hard earned family trait handed down generation to generation.
Still we tolerate each other despite our apparent flaws. But that’s just the way our family displays affection, through action instead of words. Which sounds a bit ironic considering the words I write. So as I carry on text conversations with family and followers. There is this still a bit of that old armor I still wear when I speak face to face. I guess despite my best efforts to open myself up, I still need a wall to hide behind. Still as time passes, and my moments in isolation continue to tick away. I am becoming more comfortable in my own skin, with both my strengths and weaknesses. Seeking redemption for the mistakes is a noble pursuit. Especially when it comes to family and the relationships you keep. By much like the conversations between me and my father-in-law. Not everything is going to be comfortable, but that doesn’t mean it has to stop.
After our goodbyes I promptly left my desk and laid back down. Through the window I could see how pretty it was outside. But considering the time of the year, I know going outside would only get toted away by the gnats and the humidity. So I decided to hide in my room. Now as far as carrying on a conversation with my adult children or any younger person for that matter. Conversations usually take a back seat to a quick text or reminders on a calendar. Now I’ll admit I’m not a very outwardly affectionate and my family will be the first to tell you. In exchange they’re not always super affectionate when it comes me. That is a hard earned family trait handed down generation to generation.
Still we tolerate each other despite our apparent flaws. But that’s just the way our family displays affection, through action instead of words. Which sounds a bit ironic considering the words I write. So as I carry on text conversations with family and followers. There is this still a bit of that old armor I still wear when I speak face to face. I guess despite my best efforts to open myself up, I still need a wall to hide behind. Still as time passes, and my moments in isolation continue to tick away. I am becoming more comfortable in my own skin, with both my strengths and weaknesses. Seeking redemption for the mistakes is a noble pursuit. Especially when it comes to family and the relationships you keep. By much like the conversations between me and my father-in-law. Not everything is going to be comfortable, but that doesn’t mean it has to stop.
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