Suspenders

I’m having a bit of an out of body experience this morning, because I decided to put on pants. I’m not sure if you can tell from my self-images, but I usually wear sweat type pants or shorts. Usually shorts more than anything else. But today with it being rainy and a little cool. I decided to slip on an old pair of blue jeans with suspenders, with a t-shirt and oxford pulled over. It might be a bit much for comfortable apartment wear, but today I figured, what the hell.

The medicine has hardly had time to kick in, so my heads a bit light. But the pants being about an inch too big feel right comfortable around my waist. Which for a very long time were either too tight or too uncomfortable to wear given my digestive issues. My digestive issues aren’t completely resolved, but they are well managed, mostly through trial and error with my diet and medication. So I won’t say I feel normal, as I would rather say, I feel kinda average. I mean, not too many men wear suspenders anymore, for they much prefer wearing their pants hanging under their belly’s. But I never felt comfortable doing that, so I keep my pants at my waist.

But enough about fashion, let’s talk about life and what we feel comfortable with. For most of my life I hid behind a smokescreen of a “happy-go-lucky” attitude. Never revealing the heartache and unwantedness I felt as a young person. So I wore a mask, a mask that I wore quit well, fooling even my family. And that mask held tight, much like these pants, till they didn’t fit any more. Thus why I wear suspenders to keep them up.

Life is about compromise. So much so, that eventually we give up on the greatest parts of ourselves just to get along. It’s sad in a way, to put up with things you know don’t feel right for you. But you still let it happen, just to keep the peace. Even when it leaves you crying to yourself late at night. But it doesn’t have to be that way. Much like the adjustments on these elastic bands or the string on a pair of sweats. I can adjust them according to how I feel. So try to think of life like that and see if you can feel your brand of normal.
 
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