True Healing

Home - FD Thornton

So I woke up with a shout around 3:30 this morning. Apparently I needed to go to the bathroom. Still after coming back to bed my heart was still thumping a little hard. Which sounds uncomfortable and to be honest it is. So excuse me if I sound a little “trigger happy” this morning. But after decades of being awakened by such “sweet little surprises”. It’s still hard not to jump to some conclusions given my history of mental and physical health.
 
But I do my best to let the stress fly under the radar, giving me the appearance of a most stoic man. And to a point I suppose that’s true, because while a crisis is occurring I can appear calm and collected. It’s just that when the crisis has been averted that’s when I start to show signs of PTSD.  While never being officially diagnosed with PTSD. I have been diagnosed with plenty of other mental and physical issues over the years that I don’t wish to get into again.
 
All I know is that I’m shaking. Not from the cold or anything, but just a physical twitching deep within my muscles. My initial self-diagnosis is dehydration; due to the many prescriptions I take for my heart. So I am going to get back up and get me a bottle of water. I’m not too worried about the situation, believe me I’ve had worse. I also have a doctor’s appointment on Monday morning, so I’ll definitely mention this to her. Don’t ask me where this ability to observe myself from the third person comes from. I don’t know if it’s an inherited trait or something born out of necessity.
 
So are there any real revelations apparent here in the moment, probably not. Just information about myself I’ve kept meticulously stored in my head. I like to think that it has something to do with the realization that I am part of a bigger whole. That maybe all this stressing out that I sometimes do comes from a fear for tomorrow. (Proverbs 27:1, Matthew 6:34, and James 4:13-14) all make references that we have no control over tomorrow. The Zen Teachings that I adhere to tell the same thing. So why should I fear about the plans I make? Simply do your best, to avoid worry. Then your true healing can begin.  
 
#PresentMoment #HereAndNow #Faith #Zen #PeaceOfMind