Uncut Grass

George the Duck

I woke up after a night of haunting dreams, where I was being chased by thoughts I was never fast enough to avoid. The feeling left me a bit anxious, an old emotion I know very well. Still I woke up and turned my attention to my wife, who under the red light offered enough distraction to clear my head. Now sitting here in the office, the curtains parted halfway, showing an outside full of potential and uncut grass. Still I completed my morning chores of making the bed and taking my pills.

My coffee tastes sweet to my lips while my stomach still hasn’t gotten used to the new medication. Causing me the slightest touch of indigestion and heartburn. So I suffer through just like a good boy obeying his mom after a spoonful of Castor Oil. Living an open life can often lead to pain, if not discomfort. But at the same time living a life in total denial can do the same thing. With it’s moments of self-doubt and loathing, along with a good dose of discomfort to you soul.

So no matter which attitude you wish to take. There’s always a bit of discomfort to face. In my case it’s the acceptance that I will always fall short of the voices in my head. Even with the greatest self-awareness, there will be times of doubt and pain. So instead of pushing those voices away with cheap affirmations and mindless chants. How about giving them a voice, giving yourself a sounding board if you can. It may not completely eliminate the pain or the fear, but it certainly couldn’t hurt. Often I feel the pain and become very disappointed with myself. But when surrounded by the voice of nature and calm, you can usually survive most anything when you try.