We All Share

FD Thornton

The funny thing about being my age and in my condition is waking up and feeling like I’ve just come off an all-night bender; even though I quit drinking a long time ago. Considering where I live and my current  social standing, I don’t have a large pool of peers to choose from. But when I look at images of the people I went to school with, I begin to see the droopiness in the jaws and that tired sunken eyes that are now a dominating trait we all share. But I’ve learned to accept that, although a few of my peers continue to fighting it. Still it’s funny how conversations about parties and bands we went to see, has now given way to sharing photos of our grandkids graduating.

Working on my second cup of decaf coffee, my devil’s candle still burns bright. I can’t help but to think back to my mom and dad. As imperfect as they were, they still provided for me and my two younger siblings. And now that we have lived beyond their years we are all stepping into an uncharted land. I was always a little jealous of my friends who had their parents live to see their grandchildren grow up. And in some cases grow to become great-grandparents themselves. My mom and dad and mother-in-law only got to see our kids as babies. Leaving a bittersweet taste in my mouth as I watch my own grandchildren grow.

I suppose I shouldn’t dwell too long on such thoughts. I mean even in the shape I am currently in, there is no guarantee of tomorrow. But as with all things the light starts to fade. So I look towards legacy more so than achievement. It is there that I find a certain peace of mind from the daily aggravations of blurry vision, shortness of breath, and other effects of time. So I keep typing. I keep putting out words so very few wish to read. In an age of high speed communication, I am nothing more than a dinosaur waiting on the passage of time, a time that we all share.