What They Remember

Not that I’m in any particular rush this morning, but my oldest granddaughter is having her birthday party today. She’ll be double digits for the first time. And so the clock continues to tick away with my permission or not. I watched my parents grow older to a point. But it’s funny that I’m older now than they ever got to be. Observing my father-in-law growing older, he’s a full 20 years older than me, is hopefully laying out a few guideposts for me to follow. Still it’s kind of interesting watching this generation grow from beyond my own children’s shadow. Just as I watched my children grow beyond my own.

But I don’t want to make this some sad soliloquy about life and death and moving on. But rather about moments in time that often repeat themselves in a cylindrical manner beyond being just a straight line. Inherent in all of us is the desire to survive and thrive. Through our various traits formed by environment and genetics, we all do our own thing. And rather for good or bad, we all seek to survive by creating our own place in this world. So it all comes down to how do you want to be remembered. As a person that worked to guide the next generation to thrive. Or are you so drowned in your own sorrow that all you can think about is you?  

These are the hard questions we all need to face. Lord knows I hope that I lead by some example to doing better. By crawling my way out of the hell I saw myself in for so long. That despite the flaws my kids often love to point out. That maybe somewhere I taught them to do better through reverse osmosis. In other words, led by hard pressed example. But odds are I will never know how it will turn out. So I do my damnest to be supportive and to help out where I can. But such is life, you motivate by example a hell of a lot more than you do screaming. But often it’s the screaming they remember most, than the support you gave.