Why Worry Now

Image By: Sandra Saxon Burnsed

I can see old habits are new again. For the last number of nights I’ve bee waking up around 2:30 in the morning. An old habit I picked up from working night shift and studying for school in the early 2000’s. Now normally I wake up at night to relieve myself, but that usually isn’t till four. But this getting up at 2:30 fully wake definitely reminds me of that old school habit when my mind couldn’t rest. So I tried to go back to sleep even going as far as taking a shower and shaved. But even then the cogs in my head were turning, so I knew to get out of bed.

So don’t really ask me what the trouble is cause I don’t really know. Maybe I slept too hard those first three or four hours. All I really know is by the time the dawn breaks, I’ll be ready to go back to bed. So I’m doing what I always have done either work on the school problem, talk online to one of my international team, or clear my thoughts through type, type, typing away. At the moment that’s my modus operandi writing. Most of the shit comes straight out of my mouth, cause I don’t think it would do you any good to try this with an AI.
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So as I tumble around writing these words down, I don’t have a clue as to why I am awake. But giving it a second thought it’s probably nothing more than my restless soul seeking an answer. But the answer who the hell knows what. So I sit here in my room with a cup of fresh decaf. Worrying about shit there ain’t no need worry about anyway. Not that I’m trusting in the “Lord above”. But more like I’m trusting in the experience and troubles I’ve seen along the way. Knowing I’ve made it this far, so why worry now.