Within Me

FD Thornton

Went to bed really early, even before my wife. Listened the NBA Championship Game on the radio, then drifted to sleep. Woke up at my usual time around 3 o’clock in the morning, went to the bathroom noticing my lower gut was uncomfortable. So I slipped on my usual equipment and slowly went back to bed. As I woke up an hour after my wife, my predictions about my gut were true, so I’ve spent the better part of the morning exercising the demons that live within me.

But the morning hasn’t been all that bad, I mean I caught the sight of the morning birds gathering food outside my window. Along with the sound of my wife reading to herself out loud, doing her best to keep the information. Everything around here isn’t just a usual day with our son drifting off into his own world. Landing occasionally wanting to talk about something that interest him. And my dear wife, with her well documented daily struggles happy in her own world. While I’m left here to tend to the boring everyday business of making sure chores are done and bills are paid.

But within me it’s nothing but a thing. Things that millions of other people around the world have to do. But I have learned not to give in to the selfless acts. I’ve learned to give myself a little time and that usually means finding refuge within myself and accepting others' limitations. Sadly or not, I’ve learned the hard way to except the limitations in my life. It often means not getting the attention I want, but acceptance is often the best you get. I hear so many others live in their lives defeat and die. While at the same time I hear so many others repeat mantras and proclaim victory like somehow that in itself heals the pain. But in my mind, I look for peace in the non-detachment of breathing in and breathing out. Letting go of things the world says I need and working on the peace that keeps me going