I woke up a little early this morning. Yesterday I wasn’t feeling too good, so I spent most of the day in bed. When I went to sleep last night, I wasn’t expecting to sleep very long. But I did surprise myself and slept till around 6 am. I’m sitting at my desktop which I rarely do anymore. My bedroom/office is still dark. It reminds me of the nights I used to sit here at the desktop and work on my college studies several years ago. Back then I worked at night on the weekends in 12-to-14-hour shifts. That way I had the next four days to run errands and do my college studies.
With this particular school (University of Phoenix) it took me 7 years to complete my associates, bachelors, and graduate studies in Business Systems Analysis. It’s funny now, because that seems like a lifetime ago. And for over forty years of my life, I thought that elusive college degree is what would validate me. All those achieved goals, all those fulfilled dreams, now reduced to adject poverty and just watching the world turn. But with that I have learned to accept the truth about who I really am. I’ve learned from long introspection that I am more than the sum of parchment paper I have collected. I wish I could down in 300 words or less the work and sweat I’ve had to put into getting myself to this point. I suppose you’ll just have to keep reading my stories to find out. But my point here is, we don’t have to be defined by any particular one thing. A mistake made decades ago doesn’t have to be a scarlet letter we wear forever. Neither are the scars left upon us by our peers. My life may not have turned out as I had planned, but it hasn’t stopped me from living. Look inside yourself, listen to what your heart cries for, forgive yourself, and forgive those that wronged you. In due time peace and satisfaction will overcome all the adversity.
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May 2023
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