So far today, I’ve used up two ice packs and enough mantras to last me a week. First my sinuses were on overdrive, and then I was having anxiety issues worrying about my truck repair. Well I did pick up the truck around noon. Drove it to town (20 miles), then stopped back by the mechanic to pay him, but then the truck won’t restart. I’ve heard of driving off the car lot and having the car fall apart, but this was a little ridiculous. Anyway, I’m laying here in my bed nursing yet another stressful headache with yet another ice pack.
You hear people all the time telling you how you can overcome everything in your life, like they have some magic formula. That if you put out enough positive energy or faith in some all-powerful deity or charm, then you’d be alright. I don’t know about you, but the only charm I have is a vanilla scented candle, I light and say, “Hail Satan” to every morning. Now maybe that’s tempting fate, but you can never be too careful.
In my 57 years, I been through a lot of shit. I’ve prayed, mediated, and went through a lot of therapy to get through all of it. It would be easy for me to say, my life’s been so unfair. But for the most part shit happens and you just have to grin and bear it. I allow my negative side to mourn, and to get pissed; but afterwards I pick myself up and continue to do the best I can. Maybe my plan isn’t full proof, but it works for me. That’s because balance is the key, not that you’ll always be successful. But at least it’s more realist then trying to wish shit away. The thing is, once you surrender completely to the defeat and self-hatred, then my friend you have already lost.