What is my highest goal? Is it to just survive or is it to conquer? Is it the accumulation of wealth or to just give it all away? I don’t know, that question has been stuck in my head for a while now. When I started writing it was a therapy. Then it became a way to pass the time while my body recovered. So I decided to give my little stories away for free. Then I thought that maybe I could make a little money selling collections of my work in book form to make a modest living.
What I have learned over the years is everyone’s fine with logging in and reading my work. but they are definitely not willing to support the art. Maybe I shouldn’t be so honest or greedy with my little gift. But it is what it is. At this point I would love to just go back to work, but my stamina is definitely not what it used to be. While my doctors agree, apparently the powers to be think I should become a beekeeper or something.
So this all takes me back to my original question, what is my highest goal? Life is nothing without purpose. Our damned higher cognitive function insists that is should. So here I sit with a shit ton of blah, blah, blah and not much else. Maybe I’m just fooling myself and the world is nothing more than a selfish game of take, take, and more take. At this point I’m not even going to speculate, but the evidence seems clear. Art is the act of giving without daring to ask anything in return.