Laying here thinking about my current mood, I’m reminded of one my favorite Bill Murray movies, “Stripes”. Within the first five minutes of the film, Murray’s character loses his job, has his car repoed, and his girlfriend dumps him. Murray’s brilliant response to all this was, “And now depression sets in…” After being stuck in the house since Sunday, my ever-cynical mind has come to the same conclusion.
When trying to explain to this to the average person, you either get a “Hope you feel better soon” or worst yet some positive affirmations they saw on a break room wall. I for one am beyond that. No different than a struggling singer in tourist trap bar singing “Margaritaville” for the ten-thousandth time, it all becomes routine. I quit over analyzing these things years ago. And while that may not be the right way to handle it, at the moment it works for me. It gives me a clear path that all this doom and gloom going on in my head will eventually end.
Listen, I’m not down playing the effects of depression and anxiety. I’ve been fighting this shit for well over 20 years. If you want to swap war stories, I got nothing but time. But my goal is to not wallow in my defeats. Instead I prefer to look my pain straight in the eye and give it the attention it deserves. For in my case, while my depression often comes in waves. There is some deeper meaning for its existence. So I use the tools I’ve been given, a keen mind and a cynical heart. To not take myself too seriously and to know, that this too shall pass.