FD THORNTON.COM
  • Welcome
  • Stories
  • Painted Poetry
  • Books
  • Lisa's Art
  • Moments of Zen
  • Contact Us

My Go To

10/14/2022

0 Comments

 
Picture
Growing up I was full of doubt and fear, but at the same time I had the gift of bluster. It was my go to defense mechanism when fear and abuse was overtaking me. Because people can be cruel, especially when you’re young. But over the decades I had to learn to be strong. Now that I had a family had to quickly learn to be the strong one. It’s just that as my family grew older; what many see as a valued quality, became a cruel ploy to manipulate others. Being the strong one has it’s advantages. You cool under fire, have greater awareness, and seem to be a natural leader. But that being said, you can be overbearing, closed-minded, as well as abusive. In fact it can end up just as abusive as the ones that abused you.

I often show little patience with those around me, especially when a challenging situation rears its ugly head. Like I said, it’s considered a noble quality to those that admire strength. But I’ve seen the flip side of the coin, where drive and determination often wrecks fragile hearts. I’m doing my best to be more compassionate but often the fire brand of survival gets the best of me. And while it may seem admirable to pull one’s self up by the bootstraps. In reality it’s a quality that beyond just yourself come be abusive and aloof.  

You know I may be wrong about all this, but as I search my soul for greater peace and understanding, it seems vividly clear. While we all need to carry a certain amount of drive and determination. When we allow that bravado to override our decency and compassion, who are really helping? I like to think I’ve grown a lot over the years. But when growth continues to bury deeper that damaged child, have we really solved any of our problems? I don’t know, this is just shit I been asking myself the past day or so. Especially with all the crazy going on around me at the moment.  ​
0 Comments



Leave a Reply.

    All post written by
    FD Thornton, Jr  
    Copyrighted.
    ​All Rights Reserved.

    Archives

    March 2023
    February 2023
    January 2023
    December 2022
    November 2022
    October 2022
    September 2022
    August 2022
    July 2022
    June 2022
    May 2022
    April 2022
    March 2022
    February 2022
    January 2022
    December 2021
    November 2021
    October 2021
    September 2021
    August 2021
    July 2021
    June 2021
    May 2021
    April 2021
    March 2021
    February 2021
    January 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    September 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019

    RSS Feed

Proudly powered by Weebly
  • Welcome
  • Stories
  • Painted Poetry
  • Books
  • Lisa's Art
  • Moments of Zen
  • Contact Us