A Faded Candle

I’ve been up since before 6 this morning, yet I haven’t taken one step outside yet. Through the windows it appears that the morning clouds have broken. But unfortunately my back and gut are giving me a bit of a fit this morning. But my trusty old held together with duct tape heating pad is doing the trick. So while I lay here, the scent of a fading candle burns. Reminding me, that much like myself. I’m either too damn stubborn or too damn stupid to fade away.
 
As our home purchasing adventure continues, it’s never fun being reminded of how inadequate you are to the world.  Especially when you hear story after story, of how successful people go through thousands of rejections. Only to finally get that one approval. But living with a fractured mind, such as I do. The repeated rejections, no matter how nice, cover my soul with painful stings. So I’m not going to spend every waking hour worrying about every rejection. Instead I’m going to pace myself, giving myself time to recover from the eventual stings.
 
So I need a moment to lick my wounds. As the physical manifestations of my wounds heal. Laying here staring at that flickering flame. I can’t  help but admire the candle’s tenacity. Through a sense of awareness and stillness, I see that long ago the candle could have just given up and faded away. So I guess that’s just something me and that old candle have in common. Either we have some eternal passion to just keeps us going. Or we just know it’s not our time to burn out.