Within my dreams, fear and unrest manifest themselves into palpable realities. Drawing me ever deeper into the storms of worry and dread. Ignoring such things will only lead you down dark unhealthy paths, of self-destruction and pain. After nearly 21 years of recognizing and working to face my self-abuse. I still find myself faced with the unfortunate truth, that these ingrained tendencies never magically go away.
The best option I have found is to face down the fear. Not in a competitive way, but rather by listening, giving the fear a voice. By telling that inner child that it is okay to feel that way. Maybe I live in some alternate reality, where forgiveness begins from within. But for me, no matter how many times I hear someone else offering me away out. It eventually falls away, like autumn leaves in a howling wind. So I face my truth, I face my shortcomings; and with that in mind I try and make things better. I wish I could wrap my arms around this hurting world. Where fear, hatred, and divisiveness reign supreme. But I cannot, I am just one man. But I can touch that individual next to me and they in turn can do the same. Living your truth is a much stronger testament, than forcing it down someone’s throat.
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May 2023
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