Through a glass darkly we see what we want to see. Good or bad our perception of a situation depends on our willingness to accept what is in front of us. Every day I am reminded of my limitations. Yet within this tinted glass there lies are still sparks of hope. Acceptance can seem like a narrow street. But when taken in context of sheer will, the possibilities are endless.
It would be easy for me to look at my current circumstance and simply give up. Laying on that gurney in the ER some four years ago, I could have easily written myself off as a lost cause. Sitting in a state-run psychiatric center with anxiety and panic attacks that were so severe, I couldn’t take care of my family. Should have definitely written me off 20 years ago. But I persevered, I clung to the hope that I will make it. Faith is a funny thing, it can lead you greener pastures or it can run you into the ground. Faith is not a sure thing, it not only takes hard work, but a willingness to change. I think about some of the people I know, so scared and unwilling to change. They see they’re situation and simply give up. Or worse they cling to some stubborn idea that never really was. So while I see things as they are, I also see things as they could be. I’ve learned to put faith in the better angels around me, to listen, to try, and to keep an open mind. What I have gained isn’t fortune or fame, but a better understanding of who I am. That yes, life doesn’t always turn out like you plan. Which doesn’t mean giving up, it just means you adjust your sails.
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May 2023
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