All This Weight

Me and Buffy are laying on the bed listening to the thunder outside. Despite my screwed up CPAP machine I slept pretty good last night, even after sleeping most of the day yesterday. As much as I hated to do it, I had to drive to the next town to run errands this morning. By the time I got back home it was raining even harder, but I really didn’t let it bother me. That’s because the problems that are currently surrounding me aren’t really my problems at all. Sometimes people like to project their problems onto you, usually by faulting you for the situation. As a fixer, I tend to take these accusations seriously. But I’m slowly teaching myself that I can’t continue to carry all this weight.

So me and Buffer are just taking it easy. As much as I would love to fix things. It’s not my place. Listen I ain’t nothing but an old loser who hopefully tried his best. But I usually fell short most of the time. It’s always been cynicism and sarcasm, that have kept me from going insane. I like to think love also had something to do with it. But recently even that charm has worn a bit thin on people. So I look to whatever, never completely believing anything anymore, when it comes to destiny. So I breathe in this nothingness that I’m learning is apparently everything.
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So don’t worry about me. Don’t blame yourselves for any of my shortcomings. My decent into this madness is only temporary, while I re-gather and regroup myself. Realizing that all this is only temporary, life is but this very moment, and that the past is a memory, while the future is the hope. So I’m laying here not wasting the moment, but instead embracing the peace and the thunder that scurries across my mind. For what is more temporary then a thought.