Am I Doing Enough?

As usual I am an hour late taking my afternoon medication. But I can’t blame myself since that’s my premium napping time. Besides after literally decades of taking those two particular medications you tend to take them for granted. Still like the good boy that I am, I eventually took my medication. The two medications that I take in the afternoon aren’t really narcotic or particularly addictive. One is to treat my on again, off again diabetic neuropathy. While the other treats my long standing chronic anxiety issues. Like I said, I’ve been taking these two meds for decades now, especially the anxiety medication.
 
Spending way too much time thinking about my situation I asked myself the questions, “Do I really need to be pumping all these chemicals into my system?” “Or do I need to seriously look into the alternatives that have been placed before me?” I’m pretty good at two things, describing my troubles in vivid detail and eventually putting a positive spin on most everything. But sometimes talk is just that…talk. But I have to admit I have made some positive changes through these processes. Still when I let my over analyzing brain have its way, the question often pops up, “Am I doing enough?”
 
I guess I’m just an enigma in a pool of positive posting. In the early days of my social media life I avoided posting about my ailments and phobias. Mostly because I had a mission of growing and developing my business and my brand. But covertly I was confessing “my sins” over private messaging sites for individuals with the same problems. Then in late 2015 after my first stress induced heart attack, I had the epiphany of “What the f#ck?”. Meaning that all that secrecy and hiding behind a broken smile was actually making me feel worse. That the lie of “Oh, I feel just fine” was actually killing me. Still to all of my friends and followers that adhere to the positive speak mantra, I don’t mean to throw shame. This is just me and my story of what it takes to keep me going.