Lord, I am a pitiful sight. I’m laying here on the bed, under a blanket with an ice pack on my head. My sugar was a little low this morning, so I eat myself an early lunch. Now I’m sleepy and my sinuses are starting to demand some attention. Recently a friend of mine brought up how the death of loved one can leave such a void in ones life. I replied that while that maybe true, it is the impression that a loved one leaves that will always remain.
With the recent death of the British Queen I suppose death has been front and center on many peoples minds. For years death was a major fear that stood front and center in my own heart. I worried mainly about what would happen to my family, especially my wife and special needs son. But for the last seven years after I actually faced death. For whatever reason, that fear has left me. No I don’t think it was some spiritual experience that erased it or some sort of gotcha moment. I think it had more to do with witnessing my family spring into action. Seeing how my boys and girls rallied themselves to see about the needs of their mother and for my own needs for that matter. It made me realize for all the bad parenting I thought I had done. That somewhere in all that chaos a little good came out. The moral I suppose beyond just being a decent parent is, to also be a decent human being. Both Christian and Zen Buddhist traditions ask that we be kind to one another. To greet each other with encouraging words and to listen compassionately. So if you think about it, how much better would life be if we all lived that way?
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May 2023
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